So last night was the American Music Awards show.  I have to admit that I didn’t watch it.  why?  because I had much better things to do. {like anything other than watch that.}  I did, however, catch Lady Gaga’s number… which was CRAZY!  Fire on a piano?  Wow.  anyway, I woke up this morning, and got on the internet to see what the latest news-worthy stories were, and there it was: Adam Lambert, AI runner up, did a performance that became a dividing line between the artists and the family-friendly crowd.  People on twitter are still either praising him like crazy or ripping him to shreds over this one.  I’m not saying whether it was right or not… because if you knew me you would know what I think… but I am going to say this:  we live in a country where we possess the right to free speech.  I find it ironic that the people who fight tooth and nail for this right are the first ones that, when something offends them, cry for censorship. Folks, you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  It’s always going to be a double-edged sword.  we might as well accept that fact.  my other thought is this… if you are adult enough… why not just turn it off?  and if you’re kids were watching it, then maybe they should have been asleep in bed getting enough rest for school on monday?  just saying.

so let’s say that you are in the middle of your communication, whether it’s teaching on a sunday morning in church, pitching a presentation to a large corporation, or giving a graduation speech, and something goes wrong {your mic starts making funny noises, someone else’s mic makes funny noises, you start making funny noises, or someone does something VERY distracting} what do you do?  This is the dilemma of all communicators.  Nothing ever goes 100% right all the time.  Let me give you a couple of scenarios and then give some suggestions as to what you can do in handling them.

SCENARIO #1: so I’m speaking on a sunday morning during church and I notice out of the corner of my eye a commotion.  I continue speaking but I notice that the commotion is a group of people standing around an elderly lady who has passed out.  There are some who are fanning her off, some who are trying to lift her to her feet to take her out of the room, and some who are just being distracting by looking and whispering.  (it wasn’t a distraction to all b/c there are about 500 in the room)… what do you do?

SCENARIO #2: I’m speaking again on a sunday morning in church and all of a sudden there is a LOUD noise that seems to be coming from my microphone.  It sounds like a crackling, static noise.  Then, it happens for like 7 seconds straight.  I know that may not sound like a long time, but when you’re on a stage with lights blaring on you, and there are over 700 people with their eyes on you, it feels like an eternity.    what do you do?

SCENARIO #3: this one didn’t happen to me, but I’ve heard that it happened.  Let’s say you’re communicating to a large group of people and someone stands up and starts yelling and talking about you to the entire audience as loud as they can.  What do you do?

in case you were wondering, these things REALLY DO HAPPEN!

here are some suggestions to handle when things fall apart in communication:

1. stay calm.  panicking makes the situation seem and feel worse than it is.

2. ignore the situation.  sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore it and diesel through.

3. address the situation with humor.  I know this one is really based mostly on personality and how long you’ve been communicating, but sometimes the best thing to do is to make a joke about the situation to lighten the mood.

4. address the situation with seriousness.  Sometimes things happen and we need to stop, address the situation, and using as a teaching moment for the entire crowd.  SCENARIO #3 would be a perfect example to do so.

5. remember… it happens to everyone!

Whatever you do, don’t make the situation more awkward than it already is.  The more control over the situation you command, the more likely you will win the respect of your listeners.

(picture courtesy of www.nps.gov)

If you are a communicator, whether a coach, teacher, pastor, motivational speaker, etc… you have the amazing task of making connections for people.  you, in essence, are a bridge builder.  you help bridge the gulf between the listener and the information.  Everything about your communication is helping the listener connect; your facial expressions, your dress, your mannerisms, your body language, your inflections, your tone, your knowledge of the subject matter, your credibility.  All of these things will either get the listener to the information, or cause them to fall short of it into the great chasm of confusion.  The best question you can ever ask yourself as a communicator is “how can I help whoever is listening to me to CONNECT with what I am saying?”  You are a bridge builder.

a few years back I was at a youth specialties conference in Nashville, TN and heard doug fields say something that has stuck with me since. He said, “Leaders are learners. if you’ve stopped learning, you’ve stopped leading.” There is just something about that statement that rings so true in the realm of leadership. There is always something that you can learn from any given situation, from books that you read, or people you are with. My journal is full of everyday leadership lessons that I gather from my own personal experiences, what I am learning from others around me, what I am learning through my interaction with scripture, and what I am reading. My thought in this is simple: I want to learn much to lead well. The day you give up on learning is the day you give up on leading.

So, what are you reading? Who are you learning from? How does that make you a better leader?

If clarity is the communicators trump card [click here for that post] then this should be the communicators golden rule:  Less is more.  I’m sure that you’ve either attended a conference, heard a coach, or listened to a preacher and came away asking yourself or someone else, “What did they say?”  More often than not the reason is that the communicator sinned against the rule of less is more.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked away from my own communications and said, “I spoke for 40 minutes, and I didn’t have a point.”  I probably had MANY points, but not one, singular, clear, focused main point.  I don’t know why we, as communicators, think that the more content we have, the more points we make, or the more we talk; the more we think we will be heard.  marketing people [who are way more intelligent about this stuff than I am] will tell you that a sure way to lose an audience with someone is to give them too much information.  So the next time you are going to communicate something to a group of people, give a sales pitch, or motivate a team, ask yourself 2 questions:

1) what am I trying to say? &

2) how could I say it using less, yet more effective, wording?

I was having a conversation over lunch with a friend last week and we were talking about communicating the truth of the Bible to teenagers.  Both of us have been or currently are youth pastors, so this topic is of big interest to us.  We both concluded that, in our experience growing up, we couldn’t remember ONE talk that our youth pastors or pastors gave.  I’m sure I heard HUNDREDS of sermons growing up, but I remember nothing that was said.  We did, however, conclude that what we remembered most was how our youth pastors were present in our lives.  It’s something that Bo Boshers of Willow Creek calls “The BE-WITH factor.”  And while that is true, we also concluded that we are the minority.  A youth pastor cannot BE WITH every student.  Especially if you have a youth ministry of more than 10-15 students.  {Even Jesus only ran with 12}  So the students lives that you can reach personally in your youth ministry is very limited and WILL NOT be the majority.  {that’s why small group leaders are so vital… but that is a different post altogether}  So this got us talking about the role of communication in youth ministry and how VITALLY IMPORTANT it really is.  I mean, just because we couldn’t remember sermons from our teenage years doesn’t mean that they weren’t important… it just means that they weren’t memorable.  As a youth pastor, I have come to realize, that for a majority of the students in my ministry, the 30 min. that they hear me speak on God’s word MAY BE THE ONLY VOICE speaking THAT truth  into their life that week.  I mean, God gets 30 minutes of their week?  They have 10,080 minutes a week… and God might get 30?That number is staggering!  If they sleep a normal 8 hours a night {doubt it} they still have 6,720 awake minutes where they will listen to all kinds of voices in their life: parents, teachers, friends, TV, music, video games, youtube, facebook, etc…  And, for a majority of the students in your youth ministry, God gets 30 min.  I’m just guessing this, but I’m assuming that unless it’s getting reinforced somewhere else, those 30 min. are getting drown out by the other voices.  If this is true, then WHY is there no sense of urgency in communicating MEMORABLE TRUTH to teenagers?  By the way, both of those words need to be emphasized.  Just because something is memorable doesn’t mean that it communicates God’s truth in a way that leads to life change… just saying.  I have literally heard communicators, minute by minute, bore teenagers to tears with the Bible and then leave them with nothing memorable except “That was a big waste of my time.”  Let’s get a sense of urgency.  Let’s not waste the 30 min. a week that God has given us with these students.  Teach the truth in memorable ways.  

{BTW… this doesn’t just apply to student ministry.  It applies to teaching the Bible to anyone }

I have been a part of 3 churches now.  I started off back in college as an interim/volunteer/intern youth pastor at a small church in Wilkes Barre, Pa.  I spent one year there and learned a lot about myself, youth ministry, and what hills I would die on in the realm of Theology.  Then I got my first job as a full-time youth pastor at a mid-sized baptist church in Kokomo, In.  I spent the next five years there, learning and growing, and being a part of a great team of pastors.  My years at that church were very valuable in my growing as a young pastor.  Now I am the youth pastor at Oakbrook Church here in Kokomo, and have been for almost 3 years now.  On all three teams (if you could call my first experience a team???) I have been a part of strategic planning aimed on growth.  We’ve tried almost everything to grow a church.  But, in my experience, I have seen only ONE thing that leads to long-term, maintained growth:  HEALTH.

Sarah and I like to try to grow things.  We’ve tried flowers, plants, vegetables, herbs, and now kids .  One thing has been consistent… when we took the time to feed, water, fertilize (not the kids), and provide the right atmosphere, they all grew.  We were cultivating an atmosphere of Health.  When things are healthy, they grow.  It is that simple.  And check this out, healthy things often PRODUCE FRUIT!!!  Just the other day I had to trash our tomato plant… why?  It was dead.  By the end of August we stopped paying attention to watering it and getting it plenty of sunshine.  Sure, we picked the tomatoes off of the plant, and that was exciting!!!  But here was the problem:  We got SOOOO focused on the tomatoes that we forgot about keeping the plant healthy.  Result: the plant stopped growing and died.  When you stop providing healthy opportunities, things tend to deteriorate and die.  But healthy things grow.

I’m convinced of one thing:  if we would start concentrating on maintaining spiritual health in our churches, they will grow.  We must not loose focus of this.  We must keep the plant healthy.  Sure it’s awesome when it’s time to pick the fruit… but we must not forget about keeping the plant healthy in the excitement of harvest time.  If we neglect the health of the plant… it just might be our last harvest from that plant.  

Healthy things grow!

One of my favorite card games to play is Euchre.  Okay, moment of honesty: I’m not very good at it, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I love playing it.  One of my favorite parts of the game is when it is my turn to call out what is going to be trump for that hand.  In that moment I get to decide which cards have the most power.  One time, while I was playing, I was dealt all spades, and both black Jacks.  I was about to POWN everyone.  I said that I was going alone… why??? because I had trump in EVERYTHING!  Trump cards are good to have because they are superior to every other card.  

When thinking about communicating to people, whether it be from a stage in church, to a small group, to a business client, to a football team, every communicator needs to understand this principle: Clarity is Trump.

Clarity trumps catchy.

Clarity trumps creativity.

Clarity trumps cliche.

If you are not clear in what you are communicating, it doesn’t matter how creative or catchy you are… people WILL NOT UNDERSTAND.  I’m reminded of a scene in the movie “Wedding Crashers”.  They are playing a game of 2-on-2 “touch” football and Jeremy is Qb-ing.  He looks over to John and yells “Hot Route, Hot Route… red 7, red 7.”  John gives him this weird look, as if to say, “What in the world are you yelling?”  Again, “red 7…Hot Route.”  John looks at him and says, “I don’t know what red 7 means.”  Jeremy gives him a hopeless glance and says, “Just go stand over there.”

Clarity is trump.  

The Apostle Paul said it like this:

“I’d rather say five words that everyone can understand and learn from than say ten thousand that sound to others like gibberish.”

So the next time you are given the opportunity to communicate to someone… before you speak, ask yourself: “Is this going to be clear to those I’m speaking to?”

When I was a senior in Bible college, a deep passion started brewing in my life to be used by God and serve Jesus in the local church.  I couldn’t wait to get out of college and get out there into the “real world” to begin to “do ministry.”  College became a back burner, means-to-an-end thing for me.  I’ll tell you, it’s been 8 years since that time and that desire, that passion has not changed.  The one thing I really wish though, is that someone would have taken me aside back then and shared with me the reality.  I wish they would have told me that there is this propensity in ministry toward getting so busy serving Jesus that you just might forget to connect with Him.  That you might get so busy doing things FOR Jesus that you forget to be WITH Jesus.  That we can get so focused SERVING Christ that we neglect SITTING with Him.  That our WORK for Christ can become a distraction from our RELATIONSHIP with Christ.  

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 ⁴¹“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”  - Luke 10:38-42

Now, before you bash Martha, before you totally write her off, consider this:  the creator of the universe is coming to your house.  I’m sure that you would get out the vacuum, straighten up the kids’ toys, wash all the dishes that have been piling up, dust the furniture, fluff the pillows, and make the most delicious 3 course meal that you can imagine.  You don’t serve God leftovers in tupperware.  Therein lies the tension of this story.  It’s not that serving Jesus was wrong… but when it gets to be the focus; when it distracts you from being with Christ, it’s the wrong thing.  The problem wasn’t that Martha was serving Jesus.  The problem was that her serving was getting in the way of her relationship with Jesus.  The text actually calls it a “DISTRACTION.”  I can’t even tell you how many times ministry has been a “distraction” in my relationship with Jesus.  Some people even get SERVING Christ mixed up AS their RELATIONSHIP with Him. “Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you…’”

So here is the bigger question…  Are you more about what you can do FOR Jesus than being WITH Jesus?

I’ve heard this one said in many different ways over the years… but this one came to me after reading some comments from people about my church (other church people said it… mind you)  They were criticizing our church on #1) something that is a non issue {look and feel of our building… not “churchy” enough} & #2) something that they knew nothing about.  By the way, don’t you just love how everyone is an expert on things they know nothing about?  

This is something I’ve learned over the years of leading: When you lead well, you will always have those who will criticize you.  Just get used to it, it’s a part of leadership.  John Maxwell said it like this once: “When you’re out in front, expect to get some kicks in the behind.”  

A little criticism never hurt anyone.  Jesus was criticized all the time.  In fact, as a leader, if no one is criticizing you, you just might not be leading like you should.  

NOTE THIS THOUGH:  if EVERYONE is criticizing you… you might have a problem.

2 things to consider:

#1) who is doing the criticizing?

#2) what can I learn from this criticism?

Don’t alter your course because of a few criticisms… use them as a stamp of approval on your leadership!